PhysicsGirl:

Irdim:

" Lately, she's been commenting about our relationship—asking where it's going and saying she wants to see more of me. I believe she's hinting at marriage."

I don't understand why he has to be straight and not vague, when she has the right only to "hint"

She is being straight. Read what you posted above. She has been asking where the relationship is going and saying that she wants to see more of him. That seems pretty direct to me. *He* is assuming that she is hinting at marriage, and he might even be right. However, *he* is not even answering the questions she's asking.

Irdim:

She hasn't asked directly - do you want to marry me or else.

She hasn't asked that. But she has asked, "Where is this relationship going?" which is similar in nature.

Irdim:

.Why should he go on an suicide honesty mission.

Well as an adult who presumably cares about his SO he should do it because if his goals for the relationship are not compatible with hers, one of them (if not both) are going to get hurt. There are just some things that a person in a relationship should be honest about. A difference in the preceived goal of the relationship is one of them.

Irdim:

The hinting is manipulating him, when she clearly knows that he doesn't want to get married yet.

Ah, but you're wrong. She probably does know that he doesn't want to get married *yet*. What she doesn't know is that he doesn't want to get married *ever*. Often people discuss the potential of marriage with their SOs long before they want to get married. This is especially true if marriage is an eventual goal of either individual.

There's no way you can twist this for your interpretation to make sense. The LW is a cad and he's looking for permission to string his girlfriend along until she is fed up and goes elsewhere. He's doing it simply because having her around to cook and fuck him is nice for him. Her opinions appear to be irrelevant to him.

Absolutely agree 100% that the cad should be honest and not waste the woman's time.