I do see what you're saying. MA, about a finished piece not coming to a conclusion but being more about the thought process. I would say a good example of that type of writing is Bob Dylan. His best writing had a meandering, stream of consciousness style, but he always brought it back to the point - often multile times. I'm thinking of the lyrics of Mr. Tambourine Man, Highway 61, or Subterranean Homesick Blues. It takes some work to understand the layering, etc. but the reader stays engaged through his interesting use of language and imagery. I purposely said reader, not listener, because adding a musical component makes it like comparing apples to oranges. I wrote an essay in college for a literature class comparing 'modern' musician lyricists/poets to classic 'high art'. (I guess I've been making the populist vs elitist argument for a long time :-) )

For example, in my analysis of Subterranean Homesick Blues puts me in mind of Rothke's sense of rythm and association, it's internal rhymes and onomatapea - like hinx, minx, jinx. The line "Maggie come fleet foot, face full of black soot, talkin that the heat put plants in the bed bug. Phone was tapped anyway, Maggie say the the man'll say, must bust in early May, orders from the D.A." is loaded with rhyme, association, and onomatapea. It is also loaded with imagery - alot is being said there without being forced. Without writing the entire lyric, it's set up as 4 couplets (8 lines) that create the image in the readers mind (like my example) followed by 5 couplets (10 lines) that form an indictment or judgement of sorts as presented in the first 4 couplets.

What I'm getting at is that Dylan's style could be compared to the process Mazur is attempting to utilize, there are some similarities, but this piece just doesn't have the language, imagery, or technique to hold my interest long enough to make me want to work at enjoying the poem. The indictment or judgement she makes at the end is vague. I agree with foobs and with your last statement...or to quote Elaine Benis "it's not sponge-worthy".