My husband was married very young, straight out of the Army, to a woman who is from Illinois. They struggled with the realities of marriage and divorced within 2 years, creating two of the most delightful children, ever. The divorce was long, drawn out and eclipsed the length of their marriage. The divorce was also of my husbands own will, thus began a cycle of projected anger and "lashing out" behavior from my husbands former wife. The most destructive in being that she has moved away from the original homestate, and this has changed visitation to every other holiday and once in the summer. She has raised their son by using another name other than that was given at his birth, she uses my husbands last name as her own (still, even after re-marrying another man),she is argumentative and simply angry. This behavior only escalated when I came into the picture, and runs the spectrum of flat out denying my husband visitation with his kids (because she simply didnt want to share the children that day) to filing false rape allegations (she alleges he raped her six years ago-the day after their last child was born). My husband is employed by a world class military academy and was at risk of losing his security clearance and job alltogether if the courts and authorities had not seen through the patterns of lies and accusations brought on by this woman time and time again, only getting more grandious by the events, and all unsubstantiated by any documentation. All of this is presented to the family court system of Illinois who seems to look the other way in this case. My husbands former wife has been found in contempt of court several times for her behavior and general incapability to cooperate in co-parenting-still to no actual punishment or personal responsibility of her actions. When is enough simply enough? When is contempt of court not a serious issue punisnable by the law? Would contempt of court be punishable if a man had be responsible for his actions?

As if this hideous unjustice werent enough, making this case even more severe, my six year old step son claims that his maternal cousin molested him when he was 4 years old. We have spent over $20,000 in lawyers and travel (we live in NY, the children live in IL). We have taken him to the best forensic specialists in NYC-who have concurred his allegations, and we have been on the best path with our Dept of Child and Family Services, all of whom could not help because of the jurisdictonal boundaries of children living in Illinois and visitng NY while disclosing. The children tell us that the perpetrator is still coming to their home for play times, sleep overs and regular family get togethers, and more disturbing that the mother does not believe the allegations and refuses to even discuss the events as a possibility of truth. It is my understanding through research, that approx. 5% of molestation allegations are falsified. My stepson's behavior patterns and his adament disclosure makes me reasonably certain that this molestation could be factual.

The court system is willing to entertain this womans constant requests for more child support-she had acquired two homes with her child support money, purchased several cars, horses, vacations-etc. all the while she refuses to work a day (since she boasts "she is the mother of these children and she didnt have to work during the course of their marriage, so why should she be bothered to work now" and more so "she doesnt have to account for how the money is spent"). It is sickening that the courts are willing to focus on the money matters of this case and ignore the sexual abuse claims made. The DCFS of Illinois actually turned the molestation claims from being about my stepson to the tumultous nature of his parents divorce!

This overall system is incredibly destructive to the children, to the childrens relationship with their father and to their own relationships with others. The courts are simply biased and make it "normal" for the children to have a "holiday father" or a "summer daddy".

These antiquated systems of law in family court need to be overhauled and it needs to be fast! Too many kids face these same challenges ! The destruction to their self esteem and their lives in general is incredible!