Ease up there, babydoll, save some for the rest of us.

First impression: cast iron stomach. The acid from the cantaloupe on an empty stomach would have me spewing over the kitchen sink within 60 seconds. Tootsie Pop okay but I don't like candy. Two Pacificos on an empty stomach would be okay but I wouldn't be able to stop there; I'd have to eat something, take a Pepcid AC or (my preference in my younger years) continue to drink till I passed out so I remained unaware of my stomach emptying out.

But the Advils on an empty stomach with only two beers in it would turn me into the human rainbird of projectile vomiting. Combine that with your raw-rubbed boobies and I'm thinking we're a shoo-in for the American version of Absolutely Fabulous. Wait, we need more Stoli!

BTW, were those your eggs in the pics? Cute kids.

I worked in a physical therapy clinic and one of the patients was a guy who worked at the winery who got hit by a semi on his bike and was dragged for miles down Hwy 99. The complete left side of him was down to the bone and the complete right side was constantly chewed from the endless series of skin grafts. I kinda think about that guy every time my one and only rides his Suzuki to work to save gas money. What really gets me is those quickie trips to the Circle K. It's always those little unplanned trips within a 5 mile radius of home that get you, you know?

My uncle used to be a professional motorcycle racer until he went through the barricade and hit a brick wall and had to be wired back together. When he quit racing, he went to work for many years for Skip Fordyce. I remember the baseball cap he used to wear and part of the logo was four dice and at some point I was like, "Omigod I get it! Four dice = Fordyce!" Quick, that's me. Good luck on the bike contest and the 12 pack.