I would consider a personal boycott of NBC's prime-time coverage if not for a new game I've invented which makes things a bit more interesting, but not necessarily more tolerable. It's called "Watch for NBC's Coverage Reserved for Actual Performance." Perhaps I need a better acronym. It's pretty simple, really, but like any meta-game, it requires a much greater level of attention than the abysmal coverage provided by NBC would ordinarily warrant. The rules are simple - with a stopwatch (this is a sporting event, after all) add up the number of minutes of actual sporting competition shown in one hour of prime-time coverage.

What counts as a valid measure of NBC's Coverage Reserved for Actual Performance? Here the rules are somewhat flexible and a majority of judges present need to agree in order for the minutes to count. Obviously, from the beginning of an event or performance or competition to the moment the final score is displayed or time expires or the end of competition arrives counts. Instant slow-mo replays usually count, unless deemed excessive. Warm-ups do not count. Hugging everyone tangentially related to the athlete post-performance does not count, but interviews of the athlete post-event if not excessively lengthy or inclusive of any reference to any adversity personally overcome do. Candid shots of proud parents and/or coaches in the stands during or immediately after the event do, candid shots of heads of state at any time do not. Slow motion introductions of athletes sitting on docks or front porches or scenic overlooks in the mist gazing pensively off in the distance then turning slowly to look deeply into the camera with swelling background elevator music do not, nor for that matter does any scene with background music or scripted voice-over. Synopses of the day's competition do count. Synopses of previous triumphs and tragedies from Olympic and world competitions past do not. Any exhibition performance does not. Medal ceremonies do. Pretty simple, really.

Last night, I scored about 14 minutes of Coverage Reserved for Actual Performance from NBC in the first prime-time hour, but I was in the process of getting the kids ready for bed and I was using the stopwatch function on my wristwatch, so I was distracted and may have missed a few minutes. It's also possible I just lost focus and/or broke concentration due to the inane and brain-numbing slobber oozing forth from my TV, but I'm going to attempt to overcome that personal adversity tonight and triumph through it all. Then I'll go sit on my front porch and gaze pensively off in the distance while stirring background music rises to a crescendo until my wife asks me to turn the TV down.

Anyone else willing to score NBC and report back?