to my off-topic post last week about my son and his former girlfriend. Everyone that is with the possible exception of August Alley. My son is not a miscreant and I have no plans to strangle anybody. That was not meant literally. I was just upset and blowing off steam. Maybe I should have said "I could bite nails in two" or something like that. (Also no plans to do that.)

My son is 25. I am not sure, but I believe the girl is 24 or 25. My son is not the mama's boy type at all. He also keeps a lot to himself so I got a lot of this story in bits and pieces-some from his brother. He does not have any priors unless you count minor traffic incidents like speeding. He also doesn't drink,smoke or do drugs.

I have also not been harrassing the girl as was suggested. I talked to her one time to try to get her side. I was not at all hateful and I apologized for him. It is as my son said. There was no one else around and he burned some items out of her unlocked car. I think she will have to prove the value of her items. All I have heard was cd's and some sentimental stuff like some drawings of hers. My son stayed until the fire was out. Then he stupidly left her a note so there's no denying he did it and he said he wasn't planning to.

No, I don't think it is no big deal or something he should have done. The fire part scared me to death. I asked him what in hell he was thinking? I still don't think it should be deemed a felony charge though. They may have had some phone argument or something prior, but he hurt no one. Yes he destroyed property worth about $300, she claims. Originally, I had been told $600. Maybe she got an estimate, I don't know.

My son was trying to reach her by phone but only got voice mail. Later on, either she called him or he called her. She said she wasn't afraid of him and knew he wouldn't hurt her. The police had insisted on her taking out the restraining order. My son wanted to try to make arrangements to pay her back, but she didn't want to.

Behind his back I was going to try to give her the money. I called but was told she didn't work there anymore. I found that out to be a lie, but I figured that meant she was not planning to talk to me so I didn't call again.

I did call the courthouse and was told it would be too late to settle out of court now. I do believe it could have earlier. The girl can speak to the DA on his behalf, though. I know that for a fact.

I also called the police department for advice. They said he should turn himself in and that he may spend a couple days jail time, but I could go to the magistrate to try to get him off on his own recognizance before a court date. I had one of the police officers numbers that had come to the house and I gave it to my son. Still another detective came out and talked to him and a court date was set.

I thought it was for all of it, but it was only the restraining order. Well they had told me he would be in civil court. I didn't think a felony b & e charge sounded like a civil matter. The felony part is what really sent a chill through me. That can follow him all his life.

It just seems like too stiff of a charge for what he did. I was thinking of unlawful entry since the car wasn't locked and destroying property. I really hope it can be dropped down to a misdemeanor charge. I don't think a domestic dispute could really be charged since there is no restraining order now and the girl was nowhere around when my son did this foolishness.

We do have a lawyer for him now. He talked to him yesterday. He is going to go with him to turn my son in. He told him to wait until Monday-I guess thinking he might stay in jail over the weekend. I don't know. I hope he knows what he is doing.

The cops that came by again today said the longer he waits, the more it will look like a flight risk. I told them about the lawyer and asked did they want his name. They didn't.

I don't think I will be held for harboring a "fugitive" because I'm not. He is hardly ever here. I know he is staying with a friend or friends. I have my ideas but don't know who for sure. I don't even really know some of his friends and the two or three I think he is most likely to be with have all moved since I knew their addresses. The police have yet to ask me for any names or phone numbers. I gave them his cell phone number and I let them come in and search even though there is no search warrant. I am getting sick of these almost daily police visits. I just didn't answer one day. He wasn't here.

The reason the girl is really irritating me now is she didn't want to settle out of court when there might have been a chance-no let's make a big fat mess instead. And sorry I do feel like I am being harrassed by the police. The other thing is how this girl keeps showing up where she knows my son will be.

My sons are in a band and they had a show last night. Sure enough she was there. My niece was too. My son didn't talk to the girl but apparently she was giving him the eye and my niece. Made me wonder if she was trying to figure out if that was his new gf. I surely hope they don't get back together. Sounds like a disaster.

Incog, if he had done something really awful like killed someone in cold blood or molested a child as much as I would be shocked of that, yes I would turn him in. I just don't think this fits in that sort of category and sorry it does tick me off that the girl seems to be on a vendetta but then talks sweet to him on the phone and shows up where she thinks he might be.

Yes, he does have a temper sometimes and this must have been a volatile relationship. I wish he would have just tore up something she gave him or something and threw it in the trash in front of her or something like that instead. Hindsight.

Thanks for all the helpful comments and suggestions. And the kind comments. Leghorn sounds like you have a little vandalism in your background, too. Ha! Ha!

And I have to agree with you Taurin (might of spelled it wrong, if she had done this to him, it probably wouldn't be as big a deal. That's what scared me more because he is male.Then again, my son probably wouldn't have pressed charges. Not sure he wouldn't retaliate, but not with violence against her.

I hope I answered all of anyone's questions or cleared some things up. I guess I did sound a little hysterical in that first post. Now I feel a little better. Just dreading Monday.

I know this is way too longand probably full of typo's. Sorry.