IncogNeato:

I said I wouldn't discuss this further withy you, but I'd like to point out one error.

As I See It:

BUT, her siblings are undoubtedly adults now too (if she's now 28) and can handle a few ugly truths.

In the letter, she said,

I am in my late 20s and have several younger siblings. When I was 10 years old, my father had an affair. ... None of my other siblings were either old enough to understand or even born yet.

If she was then 10, and is now 28, and at laest one sibling was not yet born at the time, then at least one sibling is himself/herself, still a minor and presumably still finacially and emotionally dependent upon these parents upon whom she wishes to tattle.

Tell me again how this would help that child/those children?

First, I recommended discussing it with the sibling closest in age, who was around 18 or so years ago and so would be an adult now. These two can compare notes and determine a few crucial factors:

1. Is mother a habitual manipulator?

2. Has she hurt anyone else in the family who needs healing?

As I have stated before, my sister and I compared notes in adulthood. She had direct memory of being interrogated by my father concerning mother's infidelity, as the LW does, I was too young to remember at the time but was informed by father when in my late teenage years and kept what I thought was a secret. The irony is that I was the only one who didn't have the whole truth, but I thought I was nobly keeping the ugly story from my sister. Years later, when my sister and I finally discussed the issue it turned out that the only one the secret was keeping in the dark was ME (the only one without a direct memory of the events because I was too young). Since my sister had been forbidden to discuss the "family secret" with me, I was ripe for manipulation from both sides. She was more cynical because she had felt the same sting the LW had of being burdened with a secret she couldn't discuss with anyone. It caused a lack of closeness between us sisters in childhood (mother "confided" in me at an early age that "Valerie" had decided when she was 6 that she didn't need her any more and had been distant ever since).

To put a fine point on it, I WISH my sister HAD told me the truth when we were in our late teens or twenties. It would have made the pieces of the puzzle fit together so much sooner. I really thought I was defective because my sister had escaped home at 19 and I got suckered into staying mired until my mid-Twenties taking care of mother emotionally. In my misplaced sympathy for poor "victimized" mother (against domineering, violent father) I didn't see the strings of manipulation (I psychologically fought my mother's battles for her) until I was well out of the situation.