"Looking good and having certain bedroom skills is getting to be just another tedious obligation of womanhood, along with cooking, cleaning, dumbing down in conversation, and bringing your man another beer without being asked. Where's the fun in that?"

Wow, that is depressing. While I have never dumbed down for any man, I don't have any problem with the other "tedious obligations of womanhood".

I stay fit because I like to be healthy and feel good about my appearance, yes, but I also consider keeping myself attractive part of the deal of being life-mated to someone! My husband feels the same way. We both exercise and groom to please one another's sense of aesthetics, because we love each other and put great stock in one another's opinions. He loves the look of garters under a dress, and I love the look he gives me when he notices I am wearing them.

We put forth real effort to learn what gives the other pleasure, and to get good at it. This could be anything from foot-rubs to blow-jobs to veal marsala with baby artichokes and wild rice.

Bringing him another beer without being asked? Well, yeah! I also TIVO Mythbusters for him without being asked, and buy him new comic books if I happen to be in the store (buying them for myself, of course). Why would I slave away in this horrible fashion?

Why, because it takes SO little effort, and makes him feel adored and pampered. Because he dotes on me in the same way. Because I take pride in looking good in a teddy and being a mink in the sack. Because doing nice things for someone I love makes me feel good.

Seriously, if looking sexy and being good in bed are "tedious obligations" how could you possibly expect a healthy relationship from anyone?

Would you be interested in a long-term relationship with a two-pump chump who you found aesthetically unappealing?

I sure wouldn't.

Freki