Thank you As I See it!

Incogneato,

Yes you looked the word up in a dictionary, but I have studied it for many years and have seen it for my eyes for over 25 years--a HUGE difference.

When a parent tells or confides in a child an adult type subject that is parentification. The child then becomes the caregiver to the parent, the consoler, the shoulder, the secret keeer. The child is forced to adopt a responsibility and burden that is beyond his years. The child becomes the caregiver to the parent in this case mom.

Dictionaries are great, I could not live without mine, but caregiving and household responsibilities in this context go a bit beyond vacuuming and doing the laundry.

Parentification is rarely a one time incident, it is role the parent usually takes because the other parent is absent physically or emotionally. I've seen this so many, many times I could scream. Sometimes I have, at least inwardly.

This is a big problem is alcoholic families, though we don't know if this pertains to the LW. Other families are not immune however. This is a generation to generation problem, we learn and tend to repeat what we have learned, both the good and the bad. If we are taught good table manners we usually continue them throughout our lives, same with the negative.

Do your research beyond the dictionary.