The poster who called the mother's act child abuse is correct. The poster who believes it is not, is dead wrong. What the mother did is called parentification. Google it. I doubt this was a one time behavior it rarely is, it just takes different forms.

I, at one time worked as a nurse in the family shelter system, I saw more forms of child abuse than I want to remember. Welts, burns, concussions and broken bones are not the only way you can be abused. We all have different psyches, we hurt differently. Explain why one child or adult screams/"carries on" during vaccinations and another is calm? The pain response whether emotional or physical is different for all.

Why does one soldier come home from war "shell-shocked" and another, who saw the same things not?

It is pretty egotistical to expect others to feel the same as you when it comes to pain.

The poster who thinks he/she knows all about abuse, does not.

What Prudie failed to understand it that the writer is still being abused by mom (though probably not intentionally) when she rebuffs him.

The letter writer needs to work this out in therapy with a neutral party.