Since dumping your boyfriend is out of the question, the problem is going to be yours, not hers. He clearly is choosing her over you, as is the whole family. You will have a lifetime of being left out of huge parts of her life. And, if you plan to marry, how will this affect the children? Will she only see them without you? If so, how will your children feel about this? You are heading for a ifetime of pain and rejection from a control freak.

One possibility is opening Pandora's box and finding out exactly what the problem is. If your boyfriend can't do that, he's made his decision. And it will get much worse.