choirgirl3377:"Queer" is the proper catch-all term for anyone who is not heterosexual. Since saying gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender/asexual is exhausting, "queer" is the polite way to sum up that list. It also can describe someone who simply does not subscribe to the values of the heteronormative patriarchy (ex, people in polyamorous relationships).
I know the thread has gotten a long way from this, but I feel I should put my two cents in with regards to the term "queer..."
A former roommate of mine, who is bi, used the term "queer" to describe herself and other not-straight people of her acquaintance. She said that it's the catchall term that LGBT people use for themselves. I've also heard other LGBT people use the term "queer" that way.
It's kind of like the N-word, though. If the term applies to you, then it is - theoretically - not offensive when you use it. But if it doesn't apply to you, you shouldn't say it.
