I really need to meet Thumper. I'm a journalist and he sounds like excellent fodder for a feature story. The photos alone, my God.

Seriously, the ones you meet on dating sites are alone for a reason. They're too particular. The ones you meet who are dating losers/XBox champions like Thumper are just desperate.

Most of us are not that desperate and settled down into marriage/long term relationships/comfortable single life with pleasure and normal men, or women depending on your flavor of choice.