Two good friends of mine who have been married for 50 + years told me a tenent of their marriage. It was basically, 'Don't say anything to each other that you can't take back.'

In other words, don't speak from a place of hurt and anger. Saying things like 'I don't love you' or 'I'm thinking about divorce' aren't things that will ever leave the mind of a spouse hearing them. It is better to go to bed -- even separate beds -- angry than to say horrible things to each other.

Tien's column about her husband spoke out of a dark place of hurt and anger. Not only did she say them to her husband, but she outted him in public. Those aren't words she'll ever be able to take back. Thus, it will be tough for him to ever truly forgive or forget them in his heart.