I keep reading people saying...hitting kids doesn't teach them not to hit. I actually disagree.

My son is a very sweet kid, not malicious at all. When he had just turned 3, he started preschool. He was learning how to socialize with other kids. Other kids would hit, and he started hitting his little brother and sister at home...HARD. My son is large for his age, and very strong, Also, he almost always would have a little car in his hand when hitting, and it was almost always on the head or face.

Again...it wasn't malicious, it was due to the change in his routine, and learning how to socialize. We went through WEEKS of daily hitting incidents. We talked about it, had time-outs...nothing worked. Then one day, I was so frustrated after he again bopped his baby brother on the noggin with a car. I calmly said his name...he walked right over to his time-out chair...with no remorse at all. So, I told him to come to me. I calmly took the car from him, and bopped him on the head with it.

He looked at me with SHOCK in his eyes, and then started crying. (pang of guilt right there) I cuddled him right up, and after he had calmed down, I asked him if that had hurt. He said yes. I asked him if he wanted to hurt other people like that. He said no. I appologized for hitting him with the car, and said that it's not nice to hit people with cars. He agreed, and then told me that I needed a time out. I told him he was right...because we don't hit. And I took a time out. That got him giggling. He never hit a kid with a car again.

What he learned was empathy, an important aspect of learning not to do things to other kids. My son didn't stop hitting because he was scared I would hit him on the head with a car again. He stopped hitting because he knew that hitting on the head with a car...hurts! And that he was hurting other kids.