Having grown up in the military and having served in the military I don't see how the don't ask don't tell policy could possibly be harder on women. It is SO much easier for two women to live the lifestyle they want as "roommates" than it is for men. No one questions women who live with and spend most of their time with a best friend, but people would raise eyebrows at men in the same circumstance. Also, it is pretty hard to get discharged under that policy unless you voluntarily ID yourself, so two women could feasibly stay roommates indefinitely.