I understand what your daughter's going through. I was diagnosed with ADHD at a very young age and I've been coping with it ever since. But I managed to get through school, graduate from college with honors, and hold down a job. Now I am in a highly respected graduate school program. Your daughter can manage these things too, especially since she has a mom who understands what's going on.

With regards to the concerns raised in your post, there are actually ways to change the world or at least one's lifestyle to make it easier to cope with ADHD, and those changes even help people who are "normal." I suggest you look up psychology professor Stephen Kaplan, who has done a lot of studies of attention and how it works.

I recently took one of his courses in cognitive psychology at the University of Michigan. He says that it's not only people with ADHD who suffer in contemporary society - pretty much everyone does. As I've written in comments elsewhere, our brains are not adapted to the kind of environment we live in - one that is largely artificial, overstimulating, and requires us to force ourselves to attend to/block out things in spite of our instincts to the contrary.