I guess I’m not following.

The way I read it, at least from your first post in this sub-thread, you are saying that as far as marriage is concerned, it is the legal aspect that is most important. I surmise this from the line in your first post that said, “I would say the ritual is what is BAD about marriage because marriage is ONLY a legal contract.”. Now it appears that you are softening on that stance and amending it to say, “My point still is that the ceremony distracts from the LEGAL and it is the LEGAL part of marriage that people need to understand more.” I would agree with the second half of that statement, the first half is on shaky ground, in my opinion. For some simple minded or immature folks, the ceremony may distract from the legal dimension of the institution, but again, I think this would be the exception and not the rule. I still contend marriage has survived for centuries on the purely ritualistic nature of the initial ceremony. If anything it is the legal part that is the added on aspect that would be unnecessary if the ritual was taken seriously enough. So I’d say the size of the party has little or nothing to do with the success of the marriage but how seriously they take the institution has everything to do with it. Again, big party is an indication of big seriousness and a once in a lifetime mentality.

Do folks who have big weddings take the institution of marriage less seriously? I’m not convinced that they do. Big wedding are a function mostly of means. If you have the means, you are more likely to have a big wedding. While I’m sure there are plenty of spoiled brats who have daddy’s with the means, having the means is also probably a good indication that the perspective couple is fairly well educated also, and that would tend to support the notion that the couple has considered the all the various issues that marriage involves.

It would be interesting to see a study that examines successful and failed marriages as a function of size and cost of the wedding, religious or secular ceremony, levels of education etc. I’d expect the Catholics alone would swing the stats in favor of those who had religious ceremonies having fewer divorces. Not that number of divorces should necessarily be the barometer of a “successful” marriage but it’s the only yardstick we have. Sure there are plenty of spoiled little rich kids having the big weddings, not taking the institution seriously and ending up in divorce court in a few years but I’m sure there are just as many who are less well off financially who run down to the court house or a Vegas wedding chapel on a whim, and end up in divorce court in a few years also. I’d say that immaturity and ignorance are fairly homogeneously distributed phenomenon’s across the socio-economic, religious/secular and big wedding/little wedding preference spectrums

G