Great! I love metaphors! Ours was dancing. While she was going between me and LCW, we took dancing lessons. If anyone has taken dance, the man has to lead. It took a lot on 'K' to give up leading and it took a lot on my part to take the lead. Manhood lesson one: take the lead!! Once she let go, we were able to 'dance together'. It took a lot of courage on both our self-images to assume 'traditonal' roles but it worked for us. Also, the dance hall was about an hour so we could talk and share. Whew! Some of the conversations we had! "Just because you stick your p--- in me doesn't mean I'm not gay!" or my favorite, "I have two people vying for my attention and I'm f---ing enjoying it!" Of course, now, "K' would probably forget she said those things. But my advice for the men, let her vent and don't offer advice unless you are asked (going on 22 years in June!)

BTW - yes 'K' had a rocky relationship with her mom, as well as me. A lot of hurt and injury to go around. Her mom was sharing intimacies with that, looking back, were probably not appropriate for a pre-teen to hear from her mom. Also to complicate things, 'K' had a mentally challenged brother that her mom focused her attention on. It is still a challenge for 'K' but she is tougher with her mom now that she has set up boundaries.

Blessings and going to the next level!