I'm not at all surprised that there was a dog-pile on this poster. Women respond very negatively to the merest wisp of a possibility that normal, well-educated and thoughtful women might have extramarital sex, because statistically they're probably having sex with someone else's husband and that's a population set that includes the angered ladies' men. Not that these ladies' husbands are straying per se, but they're part of the pool of available partners for the "married and cruising for same" crowd. Let's face it, men will go for variety every time, especially if they think they won't get caught.

This loathing of their man's other partner(s) is a primal jealousy that I don't think we'll ever overcome. Even if we've given permission or have an ostensibly "open" marriage, the thought of it still rankles. But I've cheated, and I've been cheated on, and in the long run it really doesn't make much of a difference. In some respects I see it as a place to dump all of our feelings of being ignored, abused, manipulated and demeaned; instead of railing against the way women are treated in general, we focus on the things we want to see as really unforgiveable and for which we expect a lot of support. Of course you can get a gaggle of gals all riled up against infidelity! It's a lot harder to get people motivated to become activists against female genital mutilation or so-called 'honor' killings. I say look to our nearest relatives, the great apes. How do they behave in their social groups? Rarely do we find lifelong monogamy practiced... and if we were very, very honest with ourselves, we might be compelled to admit that modern coupling practices do not mesh well with traditional marriage forms. And before you start wailing "What about the children???" remember that having children is a choice about which we should be even MORE careful than in our choice of partners, not less so. There ought to be a form of marriage that doesn't compel the partners to sleep with one another but DOES compel them to parent their mutual children, just as there should be a marriage for people who choose to remain blissfully child-free. And GLBT partners should have both choices as well.

Anyway, I have to say that I have no beef with this poster and I commend her for her thoughtful and rational post. The ill-concealed rancor of the respondents, however, shows how little we really understand ourselves. Sounds like a few ladies aren't feeling totally secure in their own marriages.