JudgeJanie:

Look, I think a major part of the problem is that he didn't tell her about the messages in the first place, which really sends up a red flag to me. When my husband was getting hit on by a determined co-worker during our engagement last year, (yes, she knew we were engaged and didn't care) he told me all about it right away, what was said, done, etc., etc. He put his boundaries firmly in place, and was very uncomfortable with what the woman was doing. And I did the same thing when my ex-boyfriend was coming on to me last year, also during our engagement. Granted, it was just by phone, but that didn't mean he meant it any less.

The fiance, however, didn't do any such thing, which, at best, means he appears to be enjoying the attention, and, at worst, there's something going on. If there really wasn't anything going on, he would have told her about the messages and put a stop to the woman's boundary-pushing on his own. He shouldn't have to be told.

Couldn't agree with you more. Wenches came on to my boyfriend and the boyfriends of the past and they knew about me and didn't care. It's how the man handles it, that determines whether or not we should be concerned.

You're right. The man would have put a stop to the boundary pushing right away, as I tried to explain to someone in another thread.

Sometimes girls throw themselves at my boyfriend, but he does not let them even believe they could be getting somewhere with him. He very recently took himself off the market, due to meeting me, and there are some people who just don't like it. Since he is handling all this well, I know I can trust him and I do trust him.