As the middle child to such a mother, I REALLY have to dispute that ".. you are a perfectly fine, human, flawed, excellent, loving Mom, and that this gang of letter writers is simply expressing the compulsive and collective mob rage that always follows any honest confession of real mothering episodes". First of all, let me suggest that this does have something to do with this child being her SON and her BABY. My ridiculously competent older sister is a high school teacher on her way to becoming an administrator, and I as the middle child couldn't wait to be independent from my parents as long as I can remember. However, my younger brother is very much like the irresponsible, immature one written about. Now, those qualities are not so uncommon in teenagers, I think we can agree. The difference here is that I know my brother is still like this at the age of 23 because he was CODDLED his whole life. If you are never allowed to do anything for yourself, how will you gain any self-confidence or initiative? Somehow my mother never thought twice about filling out my college application or applying for jobs for me, yet she has done just that for my brother, among many other things. To me it was "We may be paying for your college, but it's four years and YOU'RE DONE. No fifth year senior for you." But for my brother? He can fail out of school repeatedly while not holding a job, and mom buys him a car and pays for more schooling. I cannot explain this phenomenon, nor can my mother. She claims she has not treated him any differently in spite of 23 years of action to the contrary, and can only offer the explanation for such treatment that "he's different." No he's not! YOU made him that way! Don't get me wrong, I love my brother and actually wouldn't change anything about him; it's not me he mooches off of. I just have no clue how a mother could be so blind.