bzl:

So SHE'S the one who ultimately looks bad, even if he is the one who is dallying in other gardens secretly? Okay, let's say she DOES trust him...okay, and if he's cheating where does that leave her, or their relationship? Is it healthy now, by default, because she never found out? Maybe she's picking up on untrustworthy vibes, even before the vile act of snooping.

You got that right, BZL. Everyone's up in arms about the snooping and missing the REAL issue which is possibility of him cheating. The very fact that he's encouraging this "dying" wench to send him lovey dovey text messages, would be enough to send the LW a negative vibe.