Been thinking about this one a little. My wife and I still keep our eyes open for "one of those guys", a bit of baggage she wishes she hadn't collected. He's never shown up, given we disappeared her pretty well when we got together, but one never knows.

Just because our universe loves character-building surprises, this particular wad of human excrement is both 1.) a confused fundamental Christian and 2.) a martial arts instructor. Lazy lapsed Buddhists like me do not get on well with that kind.

Should he encounter my wife and attempt a "where have you been, honey" sort of Q/A session, my tools (provided Reverend Kung-Fu doesn't snap my twiggy little neck first) are different from yours, Leggy, but just as well-intentioned: 3 sizes of water pumps, paint ball gun (with hundreds of frozen pink balls!) and a video camera, all the better to save the moment for posterity.