You wrecked the surprise. Sniff.

I have a theory. Whenever Slate concocts a new letter for Prudie, the "I'm with the greatest guy/girl ever" letter uses two superlatives:

"...He's the greatest, most wonderful..."

"...She's the most beautiful and intelligent..."

"...He's the most handsome, well-endowed..."

Seems to happen every time.

Now, I wouldn't want to say, you know, that these letters are, well, shall we say made up or anything (yes, I would) but the formula is becoming tired, and I think we should complain - loudly and bitterly - to them about finding a new letter writer.

You think our esteemed Emily Yoffee herself writes them? There's no clear flow in style between the letters and her responses, so I long suspected they were handed to her, but frankly I haven't read her responses in so long I can't tell. I don't "read" Dear Prudie any more - I read the letters, take a few Vicodin with a double Beefeaters on the rocks with two bis olives, read them again, then I look for you, August, Messy or one of my beholden for the answers.

And so: having said that, I think you're perfect! I will send Slate a request that YOU become the new ghost letter writer for Dear Prudie! Do you want the job? Please say yes. We need change here. Will you? Will you?