Big Macs, that sounds like it was a no win situation and I am glad you're now free! I knew a guy from my therapy group, years ago now, who had a similar situation. His wife was abusive, she finally left him, and he felt amazingly guilty for not being able to make her happy as well as feeling like a loser for being abused. It took a lot of guts for him to come out to the group and say that he was abused.

Yeah, this is a private forum and all that, so we can't see you, but your admission takes guts Big Macs and I applaud it.