I guess you know two, in as much as we "know" each other Pogue. I was abused my my ex as well. It started out just as everyone else says. I was very inexperienced with girls, dating, pretty much at life in general. She had lived in an abusive household all her life. (Big surprise eh?) It started out as gentle reminders, then temper tantrums, then occasionally she would lose her temper and punch me during an argument. After we married came the isolation, then moving away from all family & friends. THEN the fun began!

The few times I would muster up enough confidence to stand up to her, she would beat me with anything she could get her hands on. I was raised that men don't hit women "no matter what!" So I took it and submitted again. Later I was told what I had done to hurt her, and would receive the silent treatment until I had appologized for pushing her until she beat me. Sometimes she would reward me with sex in the beginning for doing what she told me to do. Later it became the source of another round of screaming, because she had to TELL me what I had done. I was supposed to automatically know, dammit!

I never spoke of it to anyone, not even her. If I did, it would flip the switch and instantly throw her into a violent rage. Just like everyone else has said, in public we were the perfect couple. She was so loving and helpful. Behind closed doors, I was the scum of the earth. As my post-divorce counselor told me, I couldn't even put pen to checkbook and pay the bills correctly according to her.

The only thing that saved me was when she met someone else and started having an emotional affair with him. Suddenly getting rid of me to get him became more important.