PhysicsGirl:

Telling a girl that she must only have sex with someone she "loves" can cause problems. Many people have at least one sexual encounter that was more about sex than love. Girls who feel that they should only have sex when they're in love then have immense guilt that they followed their instincts. The other thing I've seen is the attitude, "Oh, I've had sex with him, I must love him." I think it's best for a person to understand that you can have sex without love, love without sex and sex with love. Otherwise you can confuse yourself.

Anecdotally, yes! Turns out that I married the first guy I slept with, but I certainly wasn't in love with him when we started having sex. And the guilt from that, having always been a "good girl", almost ended our relationship. 'Cuz only sluts and bad girls have sex without love.

One of my best friends got herself into a couple of really bad relationships because she fell into the "I'm having sex with him so I must love him" trap. The worst was the guy who, after dating for three weeks, declared that he wanted to "get her pregnant." But she couldn't break up with him, because she loooooved him, which most of us took to mean because the sex was good.

And the boyfriend from Letter 1 is beyond creepy. She should dump him already, but she probably won't, at least not until something worse happens.