My grandmother died two years ago, and I understand where you are coming from. Luckily, she had the foresight to include a little clause in her will. Anyone who tried to contest it would recieve exactly $1- nothing more. I also convinced her to appoint an executor outside the family (a must for a large estate) to try to prevent any hard feelings within the family.

My grandmother had considerable assets, and had divided them four ways. One for each of her children, and then the fourth was split among the grandchildren. I forfeited my share in lieu of the house because I had moved 700 miles to take care of her for 10 years. She put in a provision that if one child died, that person's share would be divided amongst that one's children. She had reveiwed her will annually to make sure it was always up-to-date.

I had asked my grandmother to help me make a list of what household items she wanted to go to who. This was all outside of the scope of the will. We had worked on it for several years, making note of most of the major items in the house and quite a few smaller items with great emotional significance to certain people.

My family always seemed very close and we would have liked to think that there wouldn't be problems after her death, but there always has to be someone who thinks someone else is getting too much (especially when it is free money). They decide to try to get everything they can no matter how greedy (or stupid) they look.

My aunt turned out to be the one who made my grandmother's last days and her death a living hell. Her green-eyed monster showed up a couple of weeks before my grandmother died. She actually tried to get the lawyer to the house to change the will two days before she died (he refused because she was on morphine and barely conscious). She did it while I was gone one day and she tried to keep it a secret from me. She also made a new list of what household items should go to whom.

After grandma died, the aunt thought I was getting too much in the will. She rented a U-haul and decided to pack up as much of the household stuff she could fit and haul it the 700 miles back to her house. She tried her darndest to leave me with nothing but an empty house. I actually had to bring out receipts to show that I had payed for stuff that she was trying to load up.

This aunt was 60 and retired. She was relatively well-off and had owned her house for more than twenty years. She was so petty, she went through drawers in the kitchen taking cheap flatware and steak knives. She was even considering having a garage sale before she went back home. I got pretty mad. I told her to make sure she got absolutely everything at that point because she would never be welcome in my house again.

I have seen her twice since then because my family lives in the same town she does. I was civil and even friendly, but she showed me that family ties can quickly take a back seat to greed and envy. I will be nice, but i will never trust her again.

I guess that sort of situation could have an effect on LW #1. It could also make a situation like LW #2s easier because it would quickly eliminate one relative from the pool of prospective guardians.