of course everyone involved has the right to act like a horse's ass because their feelings are hurt. it's only human nature to believe the entire universe centers around yourself, so it shouldn't matter who else's feelings get hurt, and what etiquette rules are broken, as long as you get to act out on your hurt, for no matter how long it takes you to get even. this poor stepdaughter - I mean, she didn't even get *asked* if she wanted to be a stepdaughter, did she? so it's only appropriate that she decide who she wants in her life, and who not.

by the same token, I certainly hope the father and stepmother take the hint and erase her name - and those of her "real family" - from the gift list. after all, gifts, like good manners, are optional. or so I've been told.

I just hope the stepdaughter knows whom to blame when daddy dearest makes himself scarce around her and his grandchildren. hint: it's not dad & stepmom.