Marcparis wrote: "Example: because her grandchildren and step-daughter's kids are same age, there is something wrong if step-daughter doesn't jump at the chance to spend time with her daughter. Huh? That is far enough removed from common sense to describe her as at least on the loony side of sane."

But WHY???...Why was it so terrible that the LW tried to "become family" with this woman? Why does every family have to be dysfunctional??? The LW did what every person who marries into a family should do...try to be family, and if not family, then friendly. I have children and if I had stepsiblings (which I don't, but very well could have since my dad died young), I would think it would be important to teach my children that these people are part of the family, and get them together to play as much as they play with the blood-related cousins, and spend time with new "grandma" as well as blood-related grandma. (This is assuming the LW and her own daughter are not homicidal maniacs, which I highly doubt is an issue here).