marcparis:

She doesn't like the LW, and she doesn't like the LW's kids, and she doesn't like the LW's grandkids. To spare her father's feelings, she came up with the (silly) reason of the pain she still feels from her parents' divorce (father not at fault, ten years ago, c'mon). The very fact that such an excuse is improbable inclines me to think it's a white lie, told to protect Dad.

I agree - it could well be that the daughter just doesn't like the new step-mom and provided an excuse that turns out to be creating a lot of trouble. But easier to tell your dad that you're pained over his divorce than to say that you don't like his new wife because of who she is.

We don't know anything about the LW - in fact she goes to pains in the beginning of her letter to set up a really rosy scenario of everyone else in the family, as though the daughter is the one black mark on this otherwise idyllic life. Yet we know that the LW is pretty oblivious to other peoples' feelings at best, and manipulative and pushy at worst. Enough to maybe make Daughter not want to be involved -- there could be loads more history that justifies the daughters' decision. Personally, I don't see the big deal anyway about her not wanting her kids to interact with the LW's daughters - they are only step-cousins, and may have an otherwise full life. It sounds like she's just extricating herself from the relationship and offering up excuses, but that's her choice and she's certainly not, according to the LW, made any accusations about the LW's character, so they really need to agree to disagree. You know the saying, you can't pick your family? Well, yeah, you can't. Suck it up.

PS I'm really sick and tired of Prudence's inflammatory and careless uses of the terms "mental disorder" "personality disorder" etc. Every other week she says some other irresponsible, offensive thing about mental health.