The fork sounds like a good idea! Where does your advisor get the idea you should be this guy's teacher? Ask for an extra TA stipend! :)

I spent way too many years in physics grad school, and this guy sounds familiar. You could borrow a line from one of my graduate professors and tell him not to enter your office unless he has a "clear precise written question that can be stated in 3 lines or less". Needless to say, no one ever bothered that prof with a question -- as he no doubt intended.