*applause!*

Thank you Messy!!!

My personal feeling is cheating must be diclosed, for exactly that reason. The emotional stuff you're going to have to deal with separately, but the safety/health issue trumps it. Sure, it would hurt me emotionally if my husband came home and said "honey I slept with someone else", but that is EXACTLY what I expect him to do, so we can take any necessary health related precautions.

Just the cheating, well, we can deal with it. We can get therapy. Cheating and then lying about it, and possibly giving me a disease, is unforgiveable. Strike one, you're OUT.