At a hastily called press conference this afternoon at Fenway Park, the Boston Red Sox announced the signing of a new player who the team says will shore-up their obvious weakness at the 3rd base position and will probably bat in the #3 or #4 spot in the line-up.

General Manager Theo Epstein proudly announced and introduced the new acquisition, saying, "The entire organization is thrilled to announce that we have signed Cynthia Rodriguez, better known to you guys as C-Rod, to a 10-yr contract to play for the Boston Red Sox."

Cynthia is the wife of arch-rival NY Yankees' All Star 3rd baseman Alex Rodriguez. The Yankees had no immediate response to the Red Sox announcement.

"I've been married to Alex for almost ten years, and during that time he batted .323 with 423 home runs, 1177 rbi's and he won league MVP 3 times. I watched every game he played.

In fact, when he found himself in a hitting slump a couple of years ago, he had me rub his bat for good luck and next time up he hit a 3-run homer. I've helped him in uncounted ways.

Now, of course, I'll be on my own and hope to help the Sox the same way A-Rod helps the Yanks," said an obviously excited C-Rod.

Some Boston sportswriters could be heard griping about the the team's decision, one saying in a whisper, "But she's never played the game."

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