Wow, I didn't think anyone would reply to what I said.

Guess I was wrong.

As for equal paternity leave for men, I understand the logic of it. Until the biology whacks me over the head. I understand some women pop their kids out without many complications, others have horrible morning sickness, others end up being forced to bed rest. Until men can physically incubate, push out, and breast feed I won't really be able to fully embrace the daddies need as much time argument. Of course, if your hubby was around more in the fist couple months maybe they would be less brutal on you physically.

Kuruman, the "crutch of sexism" is a beautiful phrase. I'd love to toss the crutch aside but biology keeps following me around whacking me over the head with it. To succeed in academic science you have to work 24-7 through out your 20's, 30's, and early 40's. Average age of first RO-1 (which is an NIH grant required to have a job in academic biomedical science) is 41. Average success rate for RO-1's is less than 10%, so competition is fierce. If you are a woman and you wait until you are a little established and have your first real grant, your chance to have biological children is over. This is a fact I cannot wish away.

As for what men give up in this career, I agree, they give up spending time with their children when their children are young. Their wives take primary responsibility for giving birth and the early years of care. However, once the oldest is 7-9 men in my field can be very available. They are established, have a flexible schedule, and can delegate to others. I just see this as a coping mechanism that is way easier for most men then it is for most women. Mostly because women are pregnant and give birth and men don't and can't. I am not arguing that some women can have no complications from pregnancy and just "suck it up and be tough." But should we really expect every woman in the workplace to do this? Should we really tell women who have a tough pregnancy that their career is over?

Overall, my quarrel is specifically that I have been told that going part time or taking a few years off is not compatible with pursuing a tenure-track job in academic research. Quiting academic research is a trade-off. It is heavily influenced by my gender. I understand my husband is also controlled by his gender. He will be the primary bread-winner in our family and made career choices that were influenced by this expectation. I might not quit science. I am not going to quit working. I am just disappointed that this career path favors people who don't give birth and I am pissed that people get so pissed when I say this. I am not telling them to change this career path, only that if they want more women to stick with this career, a few years away or some other mode of compensation beyond ignoring your children from 0-8 years of age needs to be found.