Earthtones_1999:

The girls (or boys) who think they are ready for sex at that age typically are not. There is a huge difference between actually ready (able to completely understand the potential repercussions and accept responsibility for their actions) and wanting to "do it" because their hormones are running amok and they feel like they know it all. Yes, there are teenagers who are incredibly mature for their age...but they are the exception to the rule. Society today is pushing young people to grow up faster and faster, that experimentation with sex is "normal" and "everyone is doing it". Yes, it does make those who choose not to have sex feel like outsiders amongst their peers.

To the contrary, it seems that the definition of "childhood" has only expanded in the last oh, 400 years or so, and continues to do so today. Teens aren't "kids" or "children" they are on the cusp of adulthood: some are more mature than others, a natural spectrum that continues into adulthood. I'm not suggesting that we advocate sex for teens, educate? of course but reasonably by emphasizing that virginity is a valuable, safe and perfectly legitimate choice and making sure that teens who do have sex

A) know how to do it safely and have access to the tools this requires, condoms, oral contraception, etc.

B) Won't go crazy or become whores or lose their self-respect if they do, and

C) Can judge whether they are ready to do it or not, which ties into the education point about it being okay to set limits, okay to say no, and okay to be firm in your decision.

Dumb_blonde, I am twenty-six years old.

I became sexually active when I was fifteen and experienced no negative consequences. I wasn't pressured into it, it was talked about at school, though little judgment was passed no matter what people's choices were. It was with a sweet, equally inexperienced boy and our parents approved. To only educate about the dangers and not the benefits of sexuality is ethically questionable and taking a moral stance that oughtn't apply across the board.

However, my initial point was that this girl didn't even mention sex in her letter, she just lamented about the distance (understandably). Prudie made a mistake by assuming that the girl would want to have sex if they were closer geographically, made a mistake by addressing a person's sexuality that isn't central to her problem, and finally, made the mistake of generalizing her advice to ALL girls.