to TraumaQueen: Thank you. You are a posterchild for my point: (if I may summarize) you made a bad choice, had a son with an abusive jerk, and are now marrying a nice guy who will raise your son. And you wouldn't change a thing??? You would not skip the relationship with the abusive jerk, marry the nice guy and conceive a child with Mr. Nice (if you found a time machine and get a do-over)? You prefer having Mr. Nice raise the spawn of an abusive jerk? You are also a posterchild for the anthropologists I quote.

See my post about the meaning of the work bastard - it was not a judgmental reference.

Let's just hope the influence of Mr. Nice in your son's life can overcome his inherited tendencies to be an abusive jerk like his biological father.