I agree with you . . . that the first step is teaching responsibility . . . . is teaching our children (in particular - our daughters) to choose their mates, wisely. That doesn't mean you go ahead and have children until that "special someone" comes along!

With that being said, I too am from a single mom. My birth father married her when I was 3 months old. They had a rocky relationship that ended after my mother was pregnant with her 3rd child. She didn't marry again until I was 8. We were on welfare. The man she married adopted all 3 of us (and we weren't easy kids, as my mother had a difficult time disciplining us), and has loved us as his own, ever since. The stability in our lives came with that one responsible, loving man . . . even though my mother loved us and did the best she could.

Now I have 2 children of my own. Their father (my husband) left us when my youngest was 5. Even though he remained in their lives and we have worked together as parents, stability didn't come back into my own live until I remarried 2 years ago . .. .when my youngest was just turning 10. I didn't marry this man because I needed his money or wanted a new father for my children. I had put my self through school and became a nurse, after the first one left. But his ability to help me raise my daughters and his influence on their lives weighed heavily in my decision to marry him. He is a wonderful step-father, and my children are better off in so many ways, now that he completes the family.

Kudos to your dad. Take it as it is. He is a good man who CHOSE to love you. I am equally blessed. But make no mistake. Our children must be taught to wait on making a decision toward marriage, know exactly what they need and want, and NOT settle. They must first respect themselves. Too many unwed pregnancies happen due to fantasy more than anything else . . . . the girls thinking if they give a boy/man what he wants, he will love her and take care of her. I know.

I do not concone abuse in any way, shape or manner, and urge anyone in an abusive situation to get out and take their children with them . .. but, perhaps, if we can install the need for children to investigate the potential mates with more than just their feelings, perhaps we can make them one less statistic.