i've read in different places that bringing a gift to the wedding is as tacky as putting registery cards in with the invites. sure, times have changed (hello personal wedding sites!), but if you want to follow decorum and not break the bank, don't bring a gift to the wedding. i think guys have it easier than women when it comes to these things. when was the last time you heard about a guy coming to a bridal shower?! i know there are "guy showers" and "coed showers" but most grooms would rather not. so all you fraternity brothers out there, count your blessings!

here's one way of tackling wedding season: buy the cheap st uff. seriously! almost every couple registers for small household stuff that they usually don't get b/c ppl are too busy trying to show them how good of friends/family they are and buying the $300 mixers. hello, i need a spatula to scrape the thing with! and there are couples who forget about the spatula b/c their too damned worried about the mixer! so buy cheap, buy small. and buy as soon as you can. that way you're not stuck trying to figure out how to give a gift (apparently, gift cards are tacky, too, and most ppl just can't bring themselves to give cash/checks even tho they are accepteable) and pay your bills. i also do a three party rule when it comes to these things as well. a gift for the bridal shower and that's only IF i go, the bachelorette party, again IF i go and the wedding itself. i always give a gift for the wedding b/c that's what it's about anyways! i try to send a gift if i'm invited, but can't make it, but due to getting married myself and moving, i've been too broke for all that lately. but i'll do it eventually! there's always anniversary's and christmas! heck, i used one of my gifts to buy a friend their's! thank you gift cards! heh. if i'm IN the wedding, they only get a wedding gift. any other gifts will be my "help" which MOST brides are VERY grateful for. and i even get thank you cards for it! :) hand written, too!

now, i DID go the pre-printed route for my thank you cards. they were very generic b/c i knew ppl would send gifts but not be able to come, or there would be ppl who would come to the wedding that i wouldn't know and they wouldn't bring a gift. they still deserve a thank you note. b/c of that, i didn't want something that was "wedding specific." even if they didn't bring a gift and i DID know them, there was still enough space in the card to write a lil note. "glad to have seen you." "hoped you had fun. i know i did!" etc. like i said, momma didn't raise no ungrateful fool!

that's juts my two cents for handling weddings. but ppl, we're just gonna have to deal with wedding fever for a while. there was a bit of a baby boom from 1980-85 and these kids are coming of age and getting married. not to mention the kids born in the 1970's who held off marriage for careers or baby boomers "doing it the second time around." maybe things will calm down. maybe they won't. but we could all use some advice or tricks on how to deal with the maddness. SASEs now withstanding. :p