For the girl with the bosses who are snide about her wardrobe, she sides with the bosses, even though the girl herself says her clothes are appropriate to the venue?

For the girl reinventing herself at college, and wanting her friends to get off her about no longer being a drudge, she recommends going back to being a drudge?

Wake up, Prudie. The first girl's bosses are back stabbing female dogs, probably jealous of the girl's youth and good looks (and they're paying her to little to support the wardrobe they want her to wear). She should be job hunting.

The second girl has decided to let her hair down a little WHILE maintaining high academic standards, a point you seemed to ignore completely. She's doing the right thing and should be shopping for a better circle of more interesting and less studious friends.

No, Prudie is not off her meds. As a professional female on the way up. I have learned one thing, people take their impression of you from the way you dress and look, yes it is superficial, but that is the way it is. If the writer wants to succeed and move up in this company then she needs to dress for the job she wants not the job she has. Use sites like overstock.com and even ebay, and start dressing similar the to women she works for. They are the heads of the company if she wants them to be her mentors then let them. She could even go to them and ask what they think she should improve on.

Females in business need to stick together, she needs to use what she heard to her advantage.

Females in business need to stick together, she needs to use what she heard to her advantage.

That's an interesting comment considering the "females in business" responsible for her insecurities sure as heck don't seem like they're sticking together with HER.

As supposedly mature, professional business women worthy of being mentors, which you suggest the LW continue to use as mentors, they should be approaching HER about her wardrobe issues, if there even ARE any, and coaching her accordingly.

Part of being a mentor is maturely seeing what the protege might be missing, such as wardrobe mistakes, and taking a proactive RESPECTFUL approach to helping her fix what's wrong.

Those women should not have their behavior condoned. I wonder what your opinion would be if it were the exact same comments overheard, but coming from men instead of women.

It sounds to me like she IS dressing appropriately for a business-casual environment, but merely doesn't have enough business-casual clothes to meet the standards of these wealthier women who are criticizing her. Prudie's off base on this one. I admit, I'm male, and the clothing issue is easier for men, but I still think Prudie's wrong on this one.

Look Im a man, so Im not likely to agree on the whole "sistas" thing. I am old enough to have observed both men and women in the workplace and I can tell you this.

These women dont respect her. They have exhibited absolutely nothing which warrants considering them to be "sistas" or even decent bosses in general-male or female.

There are two points I would make to the employee:

1-This is your FIRST job. It is not the end of the world. If you are unhappy for 40 hours a week or more it will affect your personal life too. Dont work somewhere in which you feel disrespected-especially when you have PROOF vs just a feeling. You know for a fact these women dont think much of you and they are your bosses--look for a job and rhen write a very professinal letter of resignation-be the better person and leave these losers behind without the satisfaction of knowing they hurt your feelings.

2-The advice given to kiss their a++ is entirely wrong. Yes, it is a smart thing to ask advice of your boss (carefully without admitting feeling insecure). But when you KNOW the boss doesnt respect you this is the wrong thing to do-you cannot change this and you know the other lady is also on board with the mean girls club. I would ask you this-if you were back in high school would you ask the school bully for adivce on how to not get picked on?

She has a "10-day rotation" of office attire. Most women do well to get through an entire week without having to repeat, and that tends to be maintained by constantly replacing things as they start to show signs of wear.

These women, were they actually interested in acting professionally and as mentors, would have pulled the woman aside, and explained kindly what she needs to do, if her attire were indeed holding her back. Granted, she shouldn't get all off-kilter about overheard gossip, but it's obvious they are not interested in heling her, by the fact they chose to be snide (in an admittedly private conversation) rather than redirecting her choices.

I may want to be the CEO, but if I'm an administrative assistant, it would be stupid and pretentious to start purchasing business suits at Neiman-Marcus. You can look professional, even with a "10-day rotation", without breaking the bank or comlpetely re-doing yourself.

She needs to find a job with a bit less back-stabbing, and a bit more actual mentoring.

Does she report directly or indirectly to these women? I should go back and re read, because I thought they were simply exec's at the company this woman works for, the only other women there (which in itself is indicative of the style of company)

I'd just avoid the women myself, and pity them. Their lives must be pretty miserable if they have to pick on someone for their wardrobe. And 10 days? Sheeeesh.. I only had 3 outfits and 6 shirts that I rotated. They would have HATED me.

BRAVO! I've been wondering about Prudie for a couple of months now. It's almost as if this column is too much work for her so she comes up with some flip remark that does NOT get to the bottom of the issue. I have very little respect for her opinion anymore because of the way she responds to people. Doesn't she understand that a person has reached a very low and desperate point if they feel like the advice of a total stranger will give them the help they need? She shows no respect for these people writing to her. It's almost as though she's only reading a couple of lines in the letter and then writing some response that has nothing to do with the REAL problem. I would love to try to help some of these people through their problems but they aren't getting anything from Prudie anymore. Occasionally there's a gem but probably half of her responses are garbage, which is very hurtful since people trust her opinion because she's backed by Slate. She does not take the weight of responsibility she should.

I think it's time Slate started looking for new recruits. This has gone on long enough and this Prudie does not appreciate the wonderful opportunity she has been given.

Females in business need to stick together, but the female executives in the letter were not offering that to the LW. Far from it. Mentoring is not done with snide remarks nor with backstabbing. Mentoring would have been offered with a discreet conference about company expectations.

These bad work situations do not ever get better on their own since people who reach middle age without growing up aren't about to start then. Trust me on this, I have been there.

The LW needs a different job, and maybe you do as well. I urge you to assess your education, skills, and experience and go find a better place to work; one with decent, mature bosses and cooperative co-workers. You don't have to "dress for success" so you can go swim with sharks every day. I have been there, too.

Yeah, ick, those women sound like the girls I went to middle school with. I suppose I might go to my direct supervisor and ask if my attire was okay, and go with what that person says. If the writer finds herself consistently treated this way, and playing the corporate image game isn't her priority, I might even suggest a reassessment of the career field she wants to be in. But it is her first job, so who knows. I was just disgusted with Prudie (and astounded--I agree with her 9 times out of 10) for siding with those juvenile jerks.

You asked-----

RML Returns:

-if you were back in high school would you ask the school bully for adivce on how to not get picked on?

I say amen.

IncogNeato, you are correct about women and the number of outfits in their closets. What I find outrageous is that the LW is a new college graduate. How in the world could anyone expect a new grad to have a full office wardrobe?

For those suggesting that LW find a new job, that is probably not an option. When you graduate from college, your options are not always numerous. Apparently, work was fine until LW overheard these two women, therefore, it would be prudent for her to continue to do her best and learn all that she can. After she has some experience under her belt and some accomplishments, she'll be more attractive to potential employers. No workplace is perfect, and it will be a good opportunity for her to learn how to work (and handle) employees with who you have issues. It isn't a hostile environment, but at least she now knows the true nature of these two women. This is a learning experience and how she handles it important.

Great BZL -- I agree with your comments about respect in the workplace.

A ten day wardrobe is 2 full business weeks. Who are these women that they can remember everything this girl wears (and being a new hire, they can't have been observing her for all that long) over the course of 16 days? What does this company do, so I can sign up for this job which requires so little brainpower that I can memorize and discern the patterns in the wardrobe of my subordinates.

I agree with Prudie in that this girl should learn what she can while she has this job, and she will obviously be building up wardrobe over time, but she should also be looking for a new job. Any place that spends so much time obsessing over non-business minutiae can't be a great place to build a career.