Daughter in law neglected to say how many grandchildren the in laws have. If there are 20 grandkids, well, I suppose it's to be expected that extravagant gifts would not be in order. Additionally, I agree with the point made that the grandfolks are just making sure that they do not become a burden to their children when the inevitable occurs.

However, that being said, I think there would have been better alternatives than wrapping up junk to give to a child as a gift. They must have known the books were insufficient gifts...otherwise why go to the basement? However, at that juncture, they should have reached into their reservoir of proper behavior and decided to spend a couple more bucks to gift something more appropriate.

Grandparents should occupy a special place in the hearts and minds of their grandchildren. We have a unique and wonderful role in our old age. We get to answer all their questions with complete candor; we get to serve that volleyball just like they showed us; we get to buy them wonderful little things Mom and Dad can't afford to buy them; and then we get to send them home so we can rest up. I have wonderful memories of my own Grandmother and I know my precious darlings will remember me with affection when I'm gone. What will this little guy remember?

Some interesting books and vintage toys his Dad may have loved.

doesn't mean that it's the only thing that has value. Too bad that in all of you many years on the planet, you never bothered to learn that.

Since when are books insufficient gifts? Books, new or old (and the time to read them), seems like a great idea to me. Much better than a new plastic piece of junk.

I still have a handful of books I received before I was old enough to read, and I read at an extremely early age. I knew my older siblings were unlikely to borrow them, and that my parents wouldn't put up with anyone destroying them, as happened with many of my toys. There was no gift I relished more than my very own book.

As a parent, I tried to encourage my kids to learn, with books and with toys which required imagination. Legos, Lincoln Logs, Tinker Toys, and similar toys were all available. Many of these were "decades old plastic toys" which remained from my own childhood, or even hand-me-downs from friends who didn't want to keep them around.

JazzyGrandma:

I think there would have been better alternatives than wrapping up junk to give to a child as a gift.

One person's junk is another person's treasure. Just because something is old, doesn't mean that it is junk. Did the children enjoy the gifts? That's really all that matters.

JazzyGrandma:

They must have known the books were insufficient gifts...otherwise why go to the basement?

First of all, I don't think books are ever insufficent. In any case, I imagine that they had these toys that they didn't need any more, and that the toys would be of the right age group for the particular children. Certainly they could have shown up with a box saying, "Here. We don't want these any more." But, given how much children like unwrapping presents I think their idea was much more clever. Since presentation is everything, especially when it comes to young children, I think that this is a better way to do it.

However, at that juncture, they should have reached into their reservoir of proper behavior and decided to spend a couple more bucks to gift something more appropriate.

JazzyGrandma:

I have wonderful memories of my own Grandmother and I know my precious darlings will remember me with affection when I'm gone. What will this little guy remember?

Who knows? If mom poisons the kids into believing that they should demand new, expensive gifts then she's pretty much destroy the chance that they'll remember their grandparents with affection. I know that *I* enjoyed many of the "old" toys I got from my grandparents, or got to play with at their houses. (I in fact still have a few....)

winemd:

Since when are books insufficient gifts? Books, new or old (and the time to read them), seems like a great idea to me. Much better than a new plastic piece of junk.

I don't know but the idea saddens me. If there had been gift cards to bookstores when I was growing up that would have been probably all I would ever have gotten. And I would have been quite happy, I loved books.

We don't overwhelm the grandkids with expensive toys, we don't try to buy their love. Sometimes after a visit, they ask if they can take home a certain toy or book. The thrill that they get when their are playing with toys their mom & uncle played with.

We do give them books & they love to snuggle up with me to read those books. I take extra care to choose books that they will like & as they are getting older, special books that they can read themselves.

I want to be remembered for being loving, fun, silly & a confidant. I want to be remembered for teaching them how to garden, embroidery, painting. The tents we make in the living room when they sleep over, the laughter as we try to give a dog a bath. Papa chasing them around the house with his dentures. The fun we have on the slippy slide. Their first motorcycle rides.

The grandkids will long remember the memories over expensive toys.

For me, I think that passing on a vintage item is a nice gesture if the child likes it, expressed interest in having it, or it belonged to that child's parent.

However, I do think it is odd to pass it off as a gift for Christmas, birthday, or other occasion.

If you want to give a well-worn item, just carry give it to them next time you see them. Tell them you have been meaning to offer it to them because you know they like it.

If you don't have much to spend, don't spend much. There is NOTHING wrong with a couple of books. I think that alone would have been a great and sufficient present.

in which Charlie receives a single bar of chocolate for his birthday every year, but it's precious because everyone loves him. The LW focus on money and comment about her children being able to be direct about their displeasure in a way grownups cannot was especially repulsive.

When I take my kids over to my grandparents the only thing really for them to play with are my old toys. It never seems to bother them that they are decades old and used, they love them. Kids, especially young ones, don't care if something is new as long as it is interesting to them. In fact the idea that I played with something as a kid floors my young son.

Now wrapping them and giving them as a gift seems a little different...but really not too big a deal if you ask me.

Books make wonderful gifts.

I guess for me the issue is intention. Did the cheap grandparents think the kids would like the books and old toys or did they just give them 'stuff' in order to get credit for gift-giving?

Example: a relative of mine was the cheapest person on the planet. Her parsimony was relentless. It wasn't about saving for retirement-- although that was her excuse -- it was about fear and control. Her kids never got anything other than underwear for birthdays and Christmas and her grandkids got the recycled stuff from the attic. I can assure you that she didn't give the old stuff because she thought they'd like it -- nope, she gave it so that she could get 'credit' for giving a gift without actually spending money.

So with that background, before I dump on the DIL, I'd have to ask what the grandparents' motives were.

So this relative was afraid and needed to feel some control over saving for her retirement - yet your family still decided that their gifts were more important that her peace of mind. I think I'd give you recycled stuff from the attic too.

What is with this attitude that we are owed gifts??

I've seen Cash in the Attic.

If everyone wants to send me their unwanted from the attic gifts, you don't even have to gift wrap them.

Eesh, no gift is insufficient if it is honestly given.