happyatheist:

Since your original contention was that it is perfectly normal for a man such as Sanford to go off travelling the world in search of poontang when his menopausal wife "goes comatose from the neck down", I would assume that Mrs. Sanford hasn't been doing anyone since the gov. has been away hiking the Appalachians.

You assume that she can't fake it as well as she did pre-menopause. Whaddaya think they make KY jelly for -- biscuits?

;-)

"Since your original contention was that it is perfectly normal for a man such as Sanford to go off travelling the world in search of poontang when his menopausal wife "goes comatose from the neck down", I would assume that Mrs. Sanford hasn't been doing anyone since the gov. has been away hiking the Appalachians."

Then you don't know women very well.

Having been one for almost 45 years now, I expect I know them better than you do. A woman who's comatose from the neck down doesn't want anything to do with a man. A woman who simply isn't interested in the man she's married to, but in another, isn't comatose from the neck down.

Besides, if she had a man on the side she wouldn't be so angry, they'd be getting an amicable (ish) divorce and go their separate ways. She doesn't have a man on the side. With 4 kids, it's not likely that she will for a while.

"Having been one for almost 45 years now, I expect I know them better than you do."

Not on the issue of menopausal wives or wives who screw around.

"A woman who's comatose from the neck down doesn't want anything to do with a man."

Just because her hormones aren't orderin her to breed doesn't mean she's unable or willing to pretend to achieve her goal. In Ms. Sanford's case, revenge would be the likely reward and at some point in the affait she would tell the new guy, "My husband always wanted this, but I wouldn't do it for him, but will for you." Common happening in those situations.

"A woman who simply isn't interested in the man she's married to, but in another, isn't comatose from the neck down."

You seem fixated on "comatose." Get back to us in a couple of years and maybe you'll have a better descriptive :)?

"Besides, if she had a man on the side she wouldn't be so angry, they'd be getting an amicable (ish) divorce and go their separate ways."

Only if they live on Fantasy Island.

"She doesn't have a man on the side. With 4 kids, it's not likely that she will for a while."

Not sure what 4 kids have to do with that. Being a governor's wife she probably has a nanny.

I've been down here for 10 months now and this guy keeps a pretty low profile. He's a little weird, does the occasional off the wall something or other, but mostly pretty boring, otherwise.

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Frankly I'd have found it much more interesting if he actually HAD been hiking the Appalachians in observation of 'hike naked' day. Seriously -- one more politician caught breaking his 'sacred vows' is a complete yawn at this stage !

Maureen Dowd's take on it (Mark versus Marco):

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What, you think all of my friends are younger than me? My best friend was 61 when she died 5 years ago. I think I know more about menopausal women than your experience with what, one?

As for women who screw around, did you miss most of my rantings for the past 4-5 months? Women who are cheating are likely to maintain or increase the number of sexual encounters with their husband because they don't want him to think they're getting some on the side. She would not outwardly appear to be comatose from the neck down to her husband or anyone else, hence the husband would not have a reason to stray on those grounds.

"My husband always wanted this, but I wouldn't do it for him, but will for you."

Not at all common. Women don't use sex for revenge unless it's the last recourse and she wants to cause/ force a breakup. Mrs. Sanford has money, power and lots of powerful friends. Unless she's video taping her affairs and turning them on for her husband to watch when he gets home after a long day at the office, revenge is an unlikely motive for a married woman with 4 kids (and boys, at that) to engage in an affair. If she's going to let it out in the open in any manner at all, the kids will find out and thusly be allowed to think of dear old mom as a conniving, backstabbing whore. Not the likely scenario any woman would want their kids to see or how they would want to be seen by their children.

Comatose was your descriptor, not mine.

"Only if they live on Fantasy Island."

I guess I live on Fantasy Island then, and so does my husband.

4 kids has everything to do with it. Women do not want to be traipsing an endless line of nameless, faceless fucks into their children's lives. It's considered inappropriate and harmful to the children. A woman with children is going to be more discriminating in her choice of men as well as more discreet in her dealings with them. And not many men looking for a quick screw are going to put up with those sorts of requirements from a woman that they only wish to have casual sex with.

The sorts of women who cut off sex to their husbands after the children are born dedicate themselves to the children. Even if Mrs. Sanford does have a nanny, which I doubt highly - she may have kitchen help, house cleaners etc. - she is still a woman with a prominent social life and standing and would not be remiss in her duties as doting mother going to all the kids' games, plays, recitals and other functions. 4 kids all trying to make their mark in high society prep. schools have a lot of extracurricular activities that Mrs. Sanford would be virtually required to attend.

My brother's girlfriend, a stunningly attractive redhead with huge breasts, only had 3 kids and it took her 2.5 years to find a man who was willing to have sex with her after her divorce.

I don't think you know as much about women, menopausal or otherwise, as you think you do.

"Not at all common. Women don't use sex for revenge unless it's the last recourse and she wants to cause/ force a breakup."

I've probably had sex with more of other men's wives than you have, so will go by my own experience.

"My brother's girlfriend, a stunningly attractive redhead with huge breasts, only had 3 kids and it took her 2.5 years to find a man who was willing to have sex with her after her divorce."

Does she take the kids to bed with her? Otherwise, totally unbelievable.

"Comatose was your descriptor, not mine."

Thought I would soften up my usual "dead from the neck down" for the sensitive folks.

"4 kids has everything to do with it. Women do not want to be traipsing an endless line of nameless, faceless fucks into their children's lives. "

If they are traipsed through the childrens' lives, they aren't nameless and faceless. Do you think the Gov had his Argentinian girlfriend at the dinner table, then told the kids goodnight while he took her to bed?

"A woman with children is going to be more discriminating in her choice of men as well as more discreet in her dealings with them."

This is true, but doesn't preclude Ms. Sanford from having a boyfriend.

"I don't think you know as much about women, menopausal or otherwise, as you think you do."

I'll leave that judgement to our readers :)

I think that both of you are resorting to stereotypes that may or may not be applicable.

I don't know squat about this woman's sex life, but I know this -- if she wants to have a sexual affair, then she is certainly capable. Neither menopause, nor the children would be a serious impediment. She could easily find a young man that would be fascinated with banging the Governor's Cougar and she could manage to do it discreetly if she wanted to.

Well, one of us has had dealings with very uncommon women. Since mine run the gamut from rich to poor, black to white, young to old, smart to stupid, working and stay at home, I think I have a fairly good demographic slice. Plus women say things to other women, outside the earshot of men, that they wouldn't say to men.

One doesn't have to have kids in bed with one in order to expose the children to the men in their lives. As any woman with kids knows, it's rather difficult to have a man in the house without the children knowing about it. Kids get up in the middle of the night to pee, have nightmares, can't sleep, get sick. It's near impossible to sneak a man into a house with children without that man being seen or heard. Especially when the object of the visit is sex. And upright society women aren't going to leave the kids with a babysitter for a night out without letting the babysitter know where they are and how to get in touch with them in case of emergency, particularly if the husband/father is not in the immediate vicinity and able to handle any such emergency that could arise. People keep tabs on where society people are. That's how the gov. got nailed. If Mrs. Sanford had been doing the same thing, it would be all over the press by now, as well...particularly since the gov. needs to make himself look good. You don't think he's had his people all over her looking for "the reason" why he's a cheating husband?

"Comatose" and "dead" from the neck down means the same thing - wife isn't putting out to husband. That was your intended meaning, was it not?

As I said, any man who is clandestinely spirited into a married woman's house for the purpose of illicit sexual relations with that married woman is nameless and faceless, just as the gov's mistress was nameless and faceless until the shit hit the fan.

As I said, if Mrs. Sanford had a boyfriend, she would be quietly seeking an amicable divorce , since both parties have obviously decided that they aren't their for the love and sex anymore. She wouldn't be making the public spectacle of raking her husband over the coals for something that she, herself, is also engaging in. No matter how discreet she may have tried to be, there is no way a woman in her position could keep that under wraps. It would come out and she would be veiwed as a worse miscreant than her husband, placing her at a decided disadvantage amongst their friends and family and in divorce court.

The governor was out of the country and got found out. It would be a whole lot faster and easier to find who's banging the governor's wife than who's banging the governor, since the governor's wife is not leaving the general vicinity of where her children are. Track down the kids, you track down the mother, track down the mother, you can find the eligible candidates who could be screwing her. It's not rocket science.

And, as I said, she wouldn't be treating her husband the way she is if she herself was doing the same thing. The indignant, spurned, cheated on spouse thing only works if you're not actually one of those yourself.

"As any woman with kids knows, it's rather difficult to have a man in the house without the children knowing about it."

Men with kids know the same things, which is why you don't do it when the kids are in the house. That's "Single Parent 101," which I went through for 11 years while being a single custodial father.

""Comatose" and "dead" from the neck down means the same thing - wife isn't putting out to husband. That was your intended meaning, was it not?"

Using the "change" as the excuse.

"As I said, if Mrs. Sanford had a boyfriend, she would be quietly seeking an amicable divorce , since both parties have obviously decided that they aren't their for the love and sex anymore."

In a political marriage, love and sex probably aren't the major driving forces.

"It would come out and she would be veiwed as a worse miscreant than her husband, placing her at a decided disadvantage amongst their friends and family and in divorce court."

Possible, assuming it came out. The Gov had to do several stupid things to get busted, including copies of mash notes in his files and abandoning ship for a week. St. Bill screwed around for years before Flowers cashed in, then Mellon put his investigators to work.

"Plus women say things to other women, outside the earshot of men, that they wouldn't say to men."

Again, just going on experience, rather than the talk. Plus, my women may have been uncommon. The common sorts never were very attractive to me :)

I guess that might work if you've got some place to deposit your kids. If you don't, you're shit outta luck. My dad worked full time and went to school. The only time he could see women was when he was home taking care of us. I always knew when he had a woman over...didn't always see her, but I certainly heard her. As for my brother's girlfriend, when you're ex is trying to take your kids away using the excuse that you're an unfit parent as his basis for gaining legal custody, one doesn't have a whole lot of options other than being a superlative model parent - no babysitters, no leaving the kids with family, no men in and out of the house.

As I said, menopause apparently isn't a walk in the park for many women. It's not just an excuse, it's a real debilitation. Whether a woman has any reason to muster up the energy to do something about it largely depends on whether or not she cares greatly about her husband's situation relative to hers or even cares much about her own condition.

No, a political marriage is an animal of a different stripe, largely due to the very publicly scrutinized nature of the thing. The only reason why Sanford kept his secret for so long is exactly because his girlfriend was not in this country. Unless Mrs. Sanford was doing the same, which is highly unlikely since she doesn't seem to leave the kids alone for more than a few hours at a time, any in country affair she could entertain would rather rapidly be uncovered.

If what she says is true, that she asked him for a divorce and he promised to straighten out and fly right instead, then he's just a moron. Probably for her own sake and that of the children, as I'm sure she doesn't give a rat's ass about what happens to her husband, she would have preferred to have a quiet amicable split without much fanfare or prying. It would make her look better and would be better for the children. Women who want their husband's out of their lives (as Mrs. S would have if she had a nice attentive boyfriend on the side), do so reasonably, quietly and with very little outward drama - that's what every woman I know in that situation has done and half of them didn't even have boyfriends on the side, they just wanted out as quickly and easily as possible. (My best friend gave her husband a house and $10K cash just to get out and leave her and the kid alone. No drama, no fanfare, just "what will it take to get you to leave and never come back?")

The gov. screwed up. He wanted his little hottie and his respectable political marriage and miscalculated her mood. You don't want to mess with a woman who doesn't want to be messed with. He should have taken his chance when he had it.

" guess that might work if you've got some place to deposit your kids. If you don't, you're shit outta luck. My dad worked full time and went to school."

Guess he didn't have family or friends. When I went through the single dad thing, some of daughter's friends' parents were broke up, so the single mommies and I rotated weekends, I'ld get all four girls one weekend per month, then spend the occassional weekend with one of the mommies. I also had family with kids, so it wasn't a big deal.

"The only time he could see women was when he was home taking care of us. I always knew when he had a woman over...didn't always see her, but I certainly heard her."

I think you have the uncommon background. Didn't have a woman sleep over when the kid was there until I got married.

"As for my brother's girlfriend, when you're ex is trying to take your kids away using the excuse that you're an unfit parent as his basis for gaining legal custody, one doesn't have a whole lot of options other than being a superlative model parent - no babysitters, no leaving the kids with family, no men in and out of the house."

An exceptional case. In normal situations a nice looking girl will do fine. One of the daughter's friend's moms had four and was a lot of fun, but her ex was cool, friend of mine. She didn't have any trouble getting lovin', but had a hell of a time catching a husband, even with $1400 per month child support.

" (as Mrs. S would have if she had a nice attentive boyfriend on the side),"

Unless he was also a married politician. Not a lot of reputable single guys in that age group.

NightSwimmer:

Maybe they live for the thrill of possibly being caught?

That is a nice high during sex. That is why doing it in public places is so popular.