"If we were just as big and in the rest of the world's face, but exporting art and beauty and intellect, they would not hate us."
A nice fantasy, perhaps, but not true at all. There will always be people who hate whoever has power, even if it's a benevolent person (like Ghandi, Martin Luther King, parents, etc). As long as the US is the lone superpower, we are going to be the target of every group vying for power, and every country whose people feel insecure about their place in the world. Pick on the biggest guy in the room, just like at school. But none of them are really any better, and Al Qaida and other groups are hardly in a moral position to judge America. They hate us because they don't rule us, and they will continue to fight us until they do rule us, or until they are convinced they can't beat us, or until they are all gone. That simple. Nothing to do with whether we're happy christian lovemongers or not.
You can't possibly think that your "the only homes we've bombed" paragraph mimics what Middle Eastern people think when they see Iraq on fire, or Afghanistan, or the West Bank, or Lebanon (yes, many blame us for Israel's actions). When you saw the WTC on fire, did you think, oh, that's the only tower they blew up! It was only Al Qaida, not all Muslims! And they gave us our numeric system and the number zero, which makes it possible to have computers and the Internet! And oil! So it's ok!
As for the Europeans, oh please. The ones who hate us are just jealous. Most Western Europeans think we're too old fashioned and prudish (for example, France, the Netherlands and Germany).
I am aware of the polls that say Muslim individuals dislike us, but the reason they hate and fear our culture is that they believe we are trying to take them over. They are plenty happy to log on the Internet and fantasize about American girls. Beating up America over what girls post in Myspace makes no sense: have you seen what's on some Dutch and German sites? That'd make you buy a burka.
America could be remade today in the very image you think it should have, and the people who hate us will still hate us -- Muslims because we are not Muslim,