Prudy's advice to In Love with a Super Computer was shockingly bad.

First, she didn't help the writer with the problem. She gave unsolicited advice to Dr. Manhattan, but nothing to help the young lady with the problem. I can just hear the conversation now, "I have this book for you to read to help you with your problem?" "I don't have any problems."

Second, she didn't help the young lady with the problem of arguing. As one who is very argumentative and typically right (read my other posts, you'll see I am typically right), the best thing someone can do to stop the argument with me is to just say, "you're right." The more insincere they can make this sound, the better. Agreement without buy in is very frustrating. Once she has confounded him a few times about this, they can get into the discussion about arguments and limits to them.

Third, Prudy didn't make any distinctions about the topic of the argument. There is substantial difference between an argument about Obama's health plan versus McCain's and one about how you embarrassed me in front of my colleague's with your stupid comment. The young lady can just choose not to participate in the first ("you're right") and needs to set boundaries with the second ("either I'm fine the way I am or I am not coming to those events with you, but you are not to judge me this way"). The best way to drive to the movies is one argument when Dr. Manhattan's driving and she's giving advice and quite another is she's driving and he's the one with the better plan. Topic matters.

Lastly, Prudy ignored all the signs that could point to other, more important issues. Is he controlling with these arguments? He could be an abuser and the letter writer needs to leave now. He could be a bore (not that I've ever been accused of that) and needs social training. He could have an illness and need help.

All in all, the here's a book for him to read wasn't much better than not giving any advice at all.

I agree that giving your SO a book about how to deal with his or her perceived problems is not the way to go.

Well this would be an instance of why you shouldn't take advice from an internet columnist who will jump to the most salacious conclusion possible just in order to write her "You go girl!" response paragraph...

Mmm..the word "salacious" makes me hungry.