Just last Christmas, by BIL who was about to turn 17 was told he was adopted because his biological mother was threatening to tell him once he turned 18. The good news-he was adopted by his maternal grandparents at about two so his family was still his family. The bad news-his biological mother was the one person he NEVER wanted to have anything to do with. He had seen over the years that she was not the kind of person he wanted to be around. We respect his wishes that we do not tell others in the family that he knows. Torn needs to respect that "the other side" of her family she does not wish to know right now.