I know that this piece is for good parents who have met a stone wall of resistance and need a last resort. This isn't an easy situation, but I think there are several things desperate parents can do before they get to the ignore-it-and-it-will-happen-o­n-its-own approach.

- first, i think that many kids resist because they think they can get something out of it. Defiant kids have learned somehow that resistance leads to negotiations and one piece of candy rather than a handful. i am not saying that parents have to draw lines in the sand every single day, but being firm on things that matter such as bath time and eating balanced meals will likely lead to increased compliance once kids learn that resistance is futile.

- second, i favor designing punishments and rewards that use a stubborn child's hardheadedness against them. For example, i wouldn't send a child to 'time out' for a set time but rather for a length of time to be determined by the child. The punishment ends when the child complies, even if it is 10 seconds. in this way, stubborn children will soon learn that reducing their own resistance is the only way out of the predicament. until they get there, however, this process will be painful for parent and child.

- third, many parents need to get more rest. I think there are a lot of overworked, stressed parents who fly off the handle when they are tired. I know that some of my worst moments as a parent occurred not when my children were tired but when i was tired. So if you want to be a better parent, sometimes that means letting the TV babysit your child so that you can get a 15-minute nap. it'll make a world of difference.

I am a father of four and blog regularly as The Rain Racer here, where I've explored all kinds of parental topics such as how hard to push your kids into competitive sports, why 10 year olds need cellphones, and what happened when I took my 11-year-old son to Hooters.