I completely rehabilitated my very contentious relationship with my mother in law by doing the following: First, I removed my husband from my relationship with her (I spoke directly with her rather than through him, especially about scheduling), secondly, I treated her like a pleasant stranger I had just met (I call it stranger therapy), meaning I was as polite, accepting, and helpful as I would have been with a pleasant stranger, thirdly, I went out of my way to cook her favorite foods, plan outings I knew she would like, and plan special projects for her and the kids. It took a year or two for this to pay off, but when it did it paid big dividends.

I call it the 'kill them with kindness' method and have used it on co-workers, clients, aunts and uncles, etc. It's very effective, not just because it improves your relationship with the other person, but also because it slowly molds you into actually being a kinder person! Then you can look at yourself in the mirror and not wince quite so much!

Ain't that the truth! God just don't like ugly!