tonto_goldberg:

First off, being a fashionista is all about attitude.

SPOT ON!!!

tonto_goldberg:

Style and class are optional, especially with the kind of clothes we will be designing. Some of it will be downright tacky, but wear it with a swagger and most people won't know better.

I'm inspired, I really am!

Is she not fabuloso???

"Ladies and Gentlemen... welcome to....

FRAYED TO FABULOUS...

We really "dig" our very first-ever guest, all they way from The Fray...

Archaeology Chick!"

I am having real trouble with the visual of the unithong, especially if we decide to offer it in pleather. Pleather opens up the whole pallette of colors, but my eyes hurt just thinking about it.

There's no way to accessorize it (shiny metal rings in various protruding body parts come to mind) except perhaps with a large trash bag completely covering the model. Derelichte' indeed!

I am trying to figure out how to stylize the wardrobe of a working archeologist. What looks especially good with dirt all over it? British desert tan comes to mind, with accessories that don't come loose and get buried.

If you are going to be mostly a teaching professor after you get the doctorate, you have to be neat but somewhat dowdy, and if you go into historic preservation you have to be corporate drab. It doesn't matter really which side you are on. Government and corporate types dress somewhat the same.

For your review:

The unithong should be perhaps marketed with the unisex stretch slacks... the obvious buy-in here is the ability to actually accentuate any excess body fat, including cellulite.

Accessorizing? These people will probably come pre-embellished... but there's certainly no limit to the possibilities... anything tacky animal print, shiny or of the fake fur variety should work well...

I was a Graphic Designer in a former life... this should not be difficult in the least. I'll do the layouts, you pick the colors.

Your suggestions to ArchChick border on brilliance...

Currently the working philosophy is:
It can be balled up into a small bag.
It has pockets.
It can be washed in a bucket or in an industrial strength washing machine.
It goes with army boots (both black and desert) and Tevas (or possibly Keen if I get my act together and get some in red).

Accessories:
-Trowel. The trowel holder is only used in the off season, anyone with a trowel holder attached to their belt is a dork or has chosen pocketless pants (dork). This is why we need reinforced pockets.
-We need something to carry our cigarettes in. Nothing is sadder than the look on an archaeologist's face after he realizes he's just sat on his pack. But most cigarette cases only hold a few ciggies, no good. A digger will blow through a pack a day if there is a "problem child" on the dig.
-The hip flask. There are those oil and vinegar, two-in-one jugs, so why oh why is there no water and whiskey flask? I need to hydrate and I need to calm my nerves (after all, I just smoked a pack of Reds in a desperate effort not to bash someone's head in).

Then for the week after returning from the field, an archaeologist will want to wear something rather revealing to show of the tan lines, muscles, new scars, old scars, and OH MY GOD IS THAT A TATTOO!

I'm not too worried about the business attire, I'm so sick of research I'm hoping to put in a few years as a shovel bum here in Denmark. Which means I'll need some weatherproof gear as well. I bet biker gloves would work great on a dig where it's cold... mmm, leather.

I had the unithong in mind as a standalone garment; like Fred Flintstone's tunic only with less fabric and more skin. Unfortunately there are references to unithong on the internet going back a few years. (sigh)

Hmmmm... Stand-alone... yes, yes I do see it... when you mention Fred I can certainly see the faux fur and animal print...

Oh dear Lord, the blind now see!

So... alas, no copyrights... hmmmm.... well, the tacky will just have to get tackier...

Thong-a-long (for travel)

Thong-a-dong (self-explanatory)

Throng of thongs (multi-pack)

Ping-Pong Thong (Recreational Game Set with complimentary thongs included)

Bong-Thong (For pot-smoking grandparents)

Kong Thong or Long Thong (XXX-Large)

Our new motto: "There is no Wrong Thong"

I actually have sources for that! I'm a Master Gardener and landscape designer (one of the ones that knows one end of a shovel from another, that is.). I earned the sobriquet "Messy" after a landscaping incident involving not-quite-composted cow manure, some azaleas, a grackle, and a spading fork.

Go to Title Nine Sports or Athleta. They're great sources for tough, colorful work clothes. Some of the high-tech fabrics are amazingly resilient and they really do keep you cool. They don't wrinkle, you can wash them in the sink, and you will always look gorgeous...

See?

Fossil-digging storm troopers in army boots? Ooooh-Kaaay.

Keep the leather for off-duty time. It doesn't hold up well to any possible combination of dirt and water. (Learned this the hard way.) Go for synthetics there, especially given your laundry specifications.

You don't already have a whiskey flask? Hint: they are about the same size and shape as pint and half-pint bottles. A whiskey flask is traditionally carried in a hip pocket. Cold weather may require a switch to schnapps or brandy, also available in the same size and shape bottle. A water bottle is usually too big for a pocket; you need more hydration than a hip-flask sized water jug can provide. I don't think a Camelback would work on a dig though.

Just a thought on a commercial - the thong song.

I like the new motto!

Show that cottage cheese flesh with pride!

I bought myself a microfiber overcoat a couple years ago in place of the London Fog I wore out. It weighs about a quarter of what the old coat weighed and is just as warm. Weight is important after you've broken a collarbone.

You can wad it up and sit on it like a cushion, then pick it up and shake it out, and look good again. You can get it soaked with water then dry it out and clean it and have it look like new.

Yer killin me here...

The visuals are making me cringe. A beach full of elderly white (really white but getting sunburned) older men and women, all wearing our new Unithong in various fabrics and colors. some of them playing volleyball, with our theme song in the background.

Just remember your largest (ahem)target customers are Boomers, therefore do not alienate them with your cottage cheese comments. *helping* ~~Tink