D-man,

There are a few gimmicky limericks or gimmericks. Having a few around can be fun and can be the exceptions that prove the rule.

The perfect limerick is all anapestic.

da da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
da da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
da da DUM da da DEE
da da DUM da da DEE
da da DUM da da DUM da da DUM

There are variation, the most common is to start the limerick with an iambic foot,
there WAS a young MAN...

Being short an unstressed syllable in a line is often fine, plus extra syllables often appear at the end of a line, but when they do, they are duplicated in the lines that rhyme with that one.

Recently, I had objections to rhyming correspondence/more despondence. Both lines ended with SPONdence, a homophonic rhyme in anapestic poetry which puts more emphasis on stresses than other types of poems.

Sob. My pen-pal will no longer write;
Over politics, we had a fight.
Now with no correspondence,
I feel more despondence.
And no longer care I was right.

This limerick also has two homophonic rhymes in line 1 and Line 5: write/right.
It helps that they are separated by a true rhyme in line 2, but often this would kill a limerick's chances of getting approval from the necessary number of editors. Based on the strength of the poem's narrative and good definition, the limerick will be aproved. Rules can be broken at OEDILF, but there has to be good reasons.

I have learned a lot about writing and not just about writing limericks from my association with the OEDILF.

Centurion NoStar

Hi NS, I wrote this off line. This week, I really enjoyed The Enginist’s thread on “Poetry”; on the technical aspects. I did sign up for the OEDILF; I honestly don’t know where that will lead.

One of my favorite words is dang

In slang it means damn with a twang

Per chance fore perforce

My Bro joined the Air Force

And he was deployed in Đà Nẵng

Zero (and, nowhere to go but up) HAP

Depending on your stated preference for what kind and how much help you desire, the following will give you a taste of the help offered by the workshop editors.

One of my favorite words is dang (This line needs work on the proper stresses)

In slang it means damn with a twang (This line has proper stresses)

Per chance fore perforce (Also acceptable)

My Bro joined the Air Force (Stresses are off,, AIR force)

And he was deployed in Đà Nẵng (good stresses

The rhymes are good except you can't rhyme force with itself. The biggest problem is that the lim doesn't tell a unified story. The top two lines do not relate to the last three lines. Even this can be fixed. Like this:

My brother, upset, cried out "Dang!"
(That means damn, but it's slang with a twang.)
For while in the Air Force
(He was drafted, of course)
He was sent to a place called Đà Nẵng.

I'm not sure which word this comes closest to defining. Perhaps Dang, but even Da Nang works as a place no one wanted to be.

I hope you enjoy being a part of the OEDILF.

NoStar

TAP

It seems I've a touch of Dyslexia
Which the doctors have said is Alexia
When I try to say words
They come out “bass-ackwards”
So I won’t try to say aprosexia

TAP

d;-)

As we are only up to Dh words, this one will have to wait about a year, although alexia might work. I saw that there is one alexia limerick already.

The problem with this lim is the homophonic in L1 (line 1) and L2.

dysLEXia
aLEXia

It could be argued that it's dySLEXia making it a true ryhme.
The joke is good and it might be accepted as is.

NS

Lines 3 and 4 with 5 syllables each? No problem.

I once knew a girl named Maria
Who suffered a case of dysuria.
She'd sit on the pot
Each chance that she got,
And seek to discharge her urea.

And from a certain point of view, I like this better. No doubt this result helps explain why the exact form exists in the first place.

wr ()()

The perfect limerick is all anapestic.

da da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
da da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
da da DUM da da DEE
da da DUM da da DEE
da da DUM da da DUM da da DUM

So that means I was right the first time, in all but keeping Denny's rhyme of "Maria" and "urea" with "dysuria".

Well, it was bound to happen: your description of the limerick provoked my screwballitude. You got me to thinking: perhaps someone should define a light verse form based on the rhythm of the Empire Theme from Star Wars...

DUM DUM DUM da da DUM da da DUM
DUM DUM DUM da da DUM da da DUM
DUM DUM da DUM da da deedle-dee
da DUM da da deedle-dee
da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
DUM DUM da DUM da da deedle-dee
da DUM da da deedle-dee
da DUM da da DUM da da DUM

(LOL)

wr ()()

and that, of course, is really the heart of this limerick. Without the Joke it's hardly worth the effort. We'll see what happens.

TAP

d;-)

OK - now we have to come up with a NAME for your new creation.

A poetry type with eight lines - repeating cadence in L1 and L2 - L3 and L6 - L5 and L8 - L4 and L7.

We could call it - Empire Octet


Right now I am deep in thought - trying to create a new poem - a REAL one - "Painting Rawbows". Mostly written but still days (?) away from completion. Maybe I will post a "draft copy" tomorrow (?).

TAP

d;-)

Johneric
JohnWilliamserick

DarthVaderick

It's also known as Darth Vader's Theme or The Imperial March . But then, there is always This.

TAP

d;-)

Lots of options

Rabbit-erick
JohananRakkavish

Or we could go the more traditional route of other poetic forms -

Vaderetta
Empiretta
Rabbitelle
Octolet


TAP

d;-)

In case I forget on Wednesday . . .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

TAP

d;-)

Hi all, I promise that if I visit the omnificent site, I will approach it appropriately (perhaps not masterfully, yet appropriately). Meanwhile… do you think I might get special dispensation for this one? (Nice job on “dang” NS, that was cool).

Glimmerick

When first I sat down to read the learned limerick

And I detect instead they wrote a gimmerick

Oh, those rules they are a flouncin’

It starts my head a bouncin’

Might this be, oh my darling mercy me, a glimmerick?

Glimmerick

Sitting down to read a limerick
Detected instead a gimmerick
Rules they are flouncin’
Starts my head bouncin’
Might this be, mercy me, a glimmerick?

d;-)